It has taken me many years and a lot of heartache to be able to see, feel and name the gifts that I have to offer others. Self-doubt or shame have plagued me like a swarm of locusts eating up my self-worth and distorting my view of who I am.
I know that I am not alone. One thing I have always loved about myself is my ability to passionately think about ideas. It is also one of the things that has held me back. Over thinking. Thinking too much about how others perceive me…. in reality it was only my own perceptions that clouded my view.
Over the last three years I have been on a journey of self-acceptance. Learning to love all of me. From the choices I have made, the skin that I am in, taking responsibility for the hurt I have caused…. and with that reflection comes the astounding revelations of all the good that I have created. The love that I have seeded. The joy I have spread. And the gratitude for all that has been to lead me to this very moment that has allowed me to use my gift of communicating to write this blog.
Have you been aware of your gift all of your life? Not in fleeting moments, but Consciously? Have you been able to incorporate your best skills into the life you live? Or are you like me? Have you struggled to find your true self while making choices that lead away from your authentic self? Now this is also a minefield, for as we grow as humans our authentic self shifts just as the tides. The waves may change, but the ocean is constant.
When I was a teenager working in my family owned rest home I listened to our residents. When I was a nightclub manager I listened to the customers. When I was recovering from a horrific head injury I listened to fellow recoverers. Running a digital communications business with my ex husband, I listened to the needs of the clients. And when I was a teacher the greatest thing I did in the classroom was listen to the students. Deeply. I heard what they were saying between the words, and we always built a culture of respect because of that deep listening. Being an office manager, again I listened to those I worked with and the customers. And being a content writer, I listen so I can weave my words to ensure that the correct messages are being communicated. So all along my gifts have been with me. It’s only now that I am accutely aware of them… they are no longer in my shadow mind.
I have often been accused of talking too much, but the reality was I was intensely interested in what was being said, and not being said, so I asked questions to go deeper. So I could understand. I have had relationships fail because I heard the unsaid and refused to let lies lie. Because of that I have been humbled and brought to my knees….but still I listen.
I am a communicator. Words…. Spoken. Unspoken. Written. Heard and Acknowledged. They are my gift. Words are my magic. I have learnt a lot in my life from thousands of people. And I am proud of my ability to communicate across generations and cultures. Across time and space if you include Social Media platforms. Most of all I am proud that I can see my own gifts as clear as day, just like the lead photo of this piece. That clarity gives me the strength to carry on. Word by word. I now communicate with myself with love and kindness. Just as I have unconsciously with others my entire life.
So back to my question…. What are your gifts? I’m here to listen, read and learn.